Relationships and mind Games - What to do when you feel like you are being controlled.
Do you sometimes feel that it’s you that makes all the effort in your relationship? Are you sick and tired of playing mind games? Waiting for him/her to call? Not sure what to do? There is only one thing to do. Don’t do anything! According to Dr. Wayne W Dyer if you get pushed around it’s because you’ve been sending “Pushing around signals”.
Sometimes we want something to much we end up draining ourselves out and then chasing after the wrong sort of attention. We go out with the hope each day that our relationships will work and that he/she will call or text back but if all you are doing is walking around in circles then perhaps it is time to take a step back and think about what’s really going on.
Not an easy thing to do huh?
Especially when you are raging with anger, but once you’ve stepped back and done – nothing you will no doubt begin to see good results. By stepping back you are automatically allowing the other person to think about their actions. Many relationship issues stem from hidden insecurities and a lack of communication. It’s when the other person tries to pull you into their own darkness that things begin to spin out of control. It is far better that you allow them to sit in that darkness for a little while longer before reacting. Dr Wayne also points out that the silent treatment, no talking and deliberate sulking are superlative strategies that one partner can use to manoeuvre the other into correct behaviour. It’s important to become aware of what is going on at this point and realise that you do have control.
The leaving scene is also another famous attention seeking technique that lovers try with one another - getting up and walking out, as again it manipulates the partner into feeling guilty and defenceless. Our natural reaction is to chase the person that we love. But, really, it’s far better to stay put. Because the minute you don’t react the way your domineering partner wants you to is the minute he/she will begin to realise that there is an issue they must confront within themselves.
Don’t be frightened to step back!
In those moments of desperation here is an affirmation to keep you calm:
“I am always in control of my thinking and I respect and appreciate who I am.
I have no reason to doubt myself and I will stand strong and firm. I do have the power to step back and I do this without fear and without guilt”.
With love & light
Refs:Your Erroneous Zones - DR. Wayne W. Dyer
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