Jealousy is one of the emotions that is of negative thoughts and feelings, it also comes with insecurity. It is an emotion that has a combination of things such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, and in some case helplessness. Jealousy is a familiar emotion shown especially in relationships. Some people also say that it is shown in every culture. Jealousy is a compulsion to defend a relationship against an assumed behaviour and it expresses a rational form of action, for example if a man gets angry when another male makes a pass at his wife this is understandable, In other scenarios it may well be inappropriate, for example; when a man gets angry as another man compliments his wife, whether rational or irrational the underlying characteristics remain the same.
Jealousy is a normal behaviour that is experienced when two people share a personal or social relationship and there are conflicting feelings of anxiety, envy, and also frustration that arises. Jealousy is also a dangerous emotion and very much so in romantic relationships. This is the most common one, this is due to the fact that when they join together in love, most of their fears, insecurities and vulnerabilities seem to fade away, this is o.k. until there is a perceived threat such as suspicion of infidelity, and then the insecurities come to the surface with vengeance. It can go to the extreme when even the sight of another “attractive/handsome” person could cause a normal secure partner to be anxious that they could lose the one that they love.
To overcome jealousy is like changing an emotional reaction to someone or something and in order to address this you need to be aware of it. Awareness of it enables you to see that the stories that you have in your mind are not actually true. Once you manage to get the clarity that you need on this, then you automatically no longer react to the scenarios of your mind, thoughts and images. Jealousy is all about you “believing” that the emotional images that you are having in your mind are true, when in fact there is no truth at all in it. Due to the fact that you “believe” what is going on in your mind you react in a certain way, by understanding that you need to change your thought pattern and your imagination you then change and eliminate these destructive emotional reactions.
As always there can be justification for your reaction such as jealousy but to react angrily simply is not the way to deal with this not a beneficial way to deal with the situation and get what we want.
There are ways to try to permanently overcome this emotion:-
Change or shift your point of view, this will help you to step back from the story that is going on in your mind, this way it will give you time to stop yourself from giving out a jealous or angry reaction and do, or say something else instead, however this is not always easy.
- Identify exactly what is causing you to react this way.
- Keep control over your emotions and learn to deal with them in a different way
- Be very mindful that your mind can play tricks on you and then you will always question what you are thinking.
If you are in a relationship where you have a jealous partner and they want you to change your behaviour to prevent their jealousy they are the ones that are not taking responsibility for their behaviour, and if they say things like ''If you did not do ..... ‘‘Then I would not react in a certain way'' this type of language indicates an attitude of power and an attempt to control your behaviour with a deal, this again is not the answer.
Jealousy is a difficult emotion to deal with and hard to overcome, but with practise this can be done, the “trigger” factor is the main core to the answer of this and to question “why do I” or the other person behave this way, there is normally an underlying problem for this behaviour and once you get to grips with this then it can be dealt with and make life so much easier in general.
Also, if you are with a partner that is always trying to make you jealous by commenting about other people of the opposite sex are interested in them and how nice they are compared to you, then it is time to seriously look at your relationship and find someone else who is worthy of you.