Absence makes the heart grow fonder â€“ or does it?
Everyday many of us find a means for new direction, we our spiritual, individual and creative beings that naturally desire change in life, it can be hard to tie ourselves into a relationship that is predictable with timing.
When life calls, it just calls and we all have to take part in routines and activities that we are passionate about, but how do we make our relationships last? More importantly, how do we make a long distance relationship last?
It can be a hard thing to accomplish, particularly if you have only just met, the test trials of a new relationship will be something that only time can tell. There are many different reasons why distance comes between lovers. Sometimes it comes to form a natural ending, whilst other times it is a mere test, to see if the relationship really can last. Then other relationships tend to grow considerably through distance. If you are both fairly individual people, then distance should be something that you can both balance, but if one partner is more in need of stability than the other the test can be a tough one.
Whenever there is distance in a relationship it is very important to ask why the distance is there, look around you and see what you can make of the distance. For example, your partner may have a career that involves travelling which you are finding incredibly hard to accept, but is this because you feel the distance is ruining the relationship? Or is it because you feel resentful towards your partner for taking the job in the first place? Perhaps the distance is unavoidable or perhaps your partner doesn’t value the relationship enough. Much of long distance is down to compromise and negotiating and nothing should be too much of an inconvenience if both partners feel equally the same.
Online love dating can also be a pathway that leads to misunderstandings as far as distance is concerned. It is all too easy to create our own worlds of fantasy and we all need some form of physical contact or connection before making realistic decisions, so reading signals when you are stuck behind a wall of electronic impulses can be a pretty hard thing to do. However, sometimes distance is put in front of us to test our own willingness and dedication. Sometimes we forget where our boundaries are and therefore the distance shows us just how much of a sacrifice we are willing to make.
If you do decide to continue with a long distance relationship then communication is an absolute must in order to keep up the rhythm and flow of the connection. Many couples will stick to an online routine that keeps them connected and advanced technologies can help to keep this link, the more persistent couples are in keeping the communication channels open, then the more chance the relationship has of lasting.
The truth is that we can’t always help distance, sometimes things just happen that way, but distance always means a test and tests can be something that we either challenge or shy away from. So no matter who you are or what you do, you do have the ability to make things work, chemistry plays a huge role and even from across the miles you can still feel the spark with a thought, a message or a phone call.
There are many ways we can look at long distance relationships, one is that distance is sometimes needed so that both partners can appreciate the beautiful landscape of their connection and another is that it gives us room to grow individually. Sometimes we need to step back in order to appreciate the distance for what it really is, just like when we step back to appreciate a beautiful view.
Things to consider:
Honesty is the fuel that keeps a relationship burning, even more so where long distance is concerned as the distance makes it harder to judge and trust. You must be wiling to discuss matters that you may not usually wish to such as feelings and sensitivity. Reassurance is desperately needed through trying times as we all know how important it is to be as sincere as you possibly can. However, if one of you has a very stressful living such as working for military forces it may not always be easy and the situation will depend entirely on how much you trust your own instinct. Your own affirmations can help daily when experiencing heartbreaking distance such as “I acknowledge my own distance, I am always in control and have the ability to make things work”.
Patience is a virtue. It teaches us that we can not have everything we want instantaneously and that sometimes it is far better to wait for things to grow. Try and exercise your patience, by visualising long terms goals, you will gradually discover that the more time you spend complaining the more heavier you will feel causing unnecessary stresses and strains which will eventually lead into one big frustration you fee you can’t deal with. Accept that there is nothing you can do about the long distance, and focus instead on your goals and ambitions. Visualise success and it will happen.
Keep a diary of your thoughts:
If you can not express everything to your loved one then keep a diary, you might discover something upon reflection. For example, you could pay attention to moon cycles and feelings that rise to the surface through certain periods. It may even be that writing your thoughts down gives you a broader perspective as to why the long distance occurred in the first place in both a spiritual and practical sense. Expressing your feelings in a private space can work wonders and makes way for personal growth, sometimes even revealing hidden talents. For example, during times of war many lovers sent poetry, short stories and creative thoughts to each other.
Always remember that distance is there to make us realise something about ourselves.
"For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice"- John Burroughs
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