What is it that makes people happy?

Happiness is actually a very hard emotion to define, because so many people have different ideas about happiness and what makes them happy. We may find happiness one day and then feel completely low the next so how do we keep a balance? And how do we know what really makes us happy? Is it love? Is it money? Or is it simply being in good health? Many of us don’t experience true happiness until we have had something taken away from us and then when we receive whatever is missing back into our lives we begin to feel more appreciative and regain our sense of self worth and value. It can be hard to determine exactly what makes us happy when so many of us our juggling with our lives and multi tasking we often forget the true meaning behind happiness and spend too much time thinking about the things that make us unhappy instead.

It is believed that people feel happier if they're with people who are like themselves or with people that they can identify with. If you feel happy within yourself then it is likely that you will respond to people with enthusiasm. But, if you feel like you can not be yourself around others then you may feel as if your identity is being mistaken in someway which then leads to feelings of resentment. Repression tends to lead to negative feelings and if you feel like you can be honest with yourself then you will undoubtedly pull people into your life who can respond coherently towards your emotions.

It’s not always easy to attract the right people and many of us slip into circles that serve us no real purpose but when we experience good intellect and vibrations with those around us, we lower our barriers, allowing our true spirits to come through and a connection is formed where we may experience a strong sense of identity within ourselves that can also mirror those around us. We feel happy that someone has understood our ideas and shared our opinions. So it could be said that happiness can also be found through experiencing deep connections, when we let go of negative emotions and embrace in the goodness around us.

However experiencing a steady flow of happiness can take some time as we all have to go through a number of different experiences and cycles before we find out who we really are. For example, some of us experience happiness through freedom, whilst others through excitement or passion and others feel happy when they have a stable environment around them but these are only temporary states of happiness and to find a balanced state of happiness can indeed take some time. Positive psychologists suggest we need meaning in our lives in order to be happy.

We can get this from having an interesting job, or working on a project we really believe in, or by doing something worthwhile but the all-rounder of happiness seems to stem from balance in many cases. You may well experience a flow in your work but it may not make you completely happy. The feeling of happiness that people tend to thrive off is a feeling of deep fulfilment in all areas of life such as a good relationship, a fulfilling job and a good home, but whilst many people have all of these things many are still experiencing feelings of unhappiness and regret. A positive life coach, Tim Brownson explains that most of our unhappiness is created by ourselves and through his career he has observed many confused ways of thinking from his clients. He talks about people constantly distorting reality in their heads and creating pointless emotional drama in their lives. This is the main reason why he believes that changing our thinking is a must for personal growth.

But how do we change our ways of thinking? If we are unhappy with ourselves or our lives then we can make positive changes, but sometimes even that isn’t enough. As humans we constantly search for answers that we are never going to find and this can have a strong impact on our lives without us being completely aware. Surely happiness is when you remove all of your uncomfortable emotions and unwanted feelings. Happiness is when you have good thoughts about the world and feel good about your achievements, it’s when you finally grab hold of something that you have been desiring after without mistaking it for pleasure because pleasure does not necessarily lead to happiness. The difference between happiness and pleasure is that pleasure requires and external motivation in order for you to experience it whereas happiness can be found from within. Happiness can come to you when you are least expecting it but with pleasure you must do something first to experience it.
What tends to make people happy is gaining the things they desire or achieving something they want to achieve.

But then all of a sudden their happiness can turn into greed and we crave more and more of the same thing and become lost in a whirlwind of confusion and then we ask ourselves: “Is this product really making me happy?” “Is this affair really going anywhere?” We look for alterative routes that are sometimes impractical and illogical so we become bitter about life and unhappy and we then forget that true happiness comes from within. Interestingly, according to research the one thing most studies on happiness agree on is that people feel happier when they have secure relationships with both romance and family and feel happier when they have a balanced state of emotions. What does not seem to make people happy is money, material possessions, intelligence, education, age, gender or attractiveness.

So overall happiness seems to stem mostly from a balanced state of mind and wellbeing and one of the most important things to remember is that happiness is free, you don’t even have to look that hard for it! You can find it in the simplest of things. It’s in nature, it’s in our souls and it’s in the air around us and exists in everyone, the trick is to discover the hidden essence, but ultimately happiness lies in the knowledge of existence and the freedom of choice. It is clarity and achievement, and it is balance!

Interesting things about happiness:

Happiness is contagious. If you feel happy around others, they will begin to feel your vibes and relax more within themselves

Women are unhappiest in their life around the age of 37; men around the age of 42

The more you hug your children, the happier they will be as adults

Happiness has a fragrance. Clinical experiments on body odour have proved your scent changes between when you are stressed or happy

The most powerful way to increase your short-term feelings of happiness is to perform random acts of kindness to others, or to send a letter of gratitude to someone you care about. Five such acts in a week will increase your happiness for up to three months

The most powerful way to increase your long-term feelings of happiness is to understand your strengths and talents, or life purpose, and to work on sharing those parts of yourself with others.

Refs:
Life Coach quote by Tim Brownson
http://www.adaringadventure.com/
http://www.davidweedmark.com/2010/facts-about-happiness/
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/happiness_formula/5012478.stm
http://www.joyfuldays.com/what-makes-people-happy-the-top-10-list/