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Psychic Question

A friend of mine has depression and this past year it has got worse, she has lost contact with friends because all she talked about is depression and how bad she feels etc. I am the last friend who speaks to her and she has started to inform me that i am depressed due to my failed relationships and lifestyle.Which i am not, i choose to live alone not becoming dependant on a man. Do i tell her straight to stop now,or just put up with it?

Angie
Angie
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I can see that your friend is rather delicate right now, and her behaviour of loosing contact with friends its typical of this illness and it is also one of the things that you should not do is cut yourself from people but she has lost her self esteem and her confidence big time. You are one of the most stable things that she has in her life right now. Therefore it is not wise to walk away. Depression is a ''real'' illness and not one that you can just pull yourself together, there is no quick fix, recovering from depression takes time and treatment. What she needs most of all now is you to listen. It is best not to assume that you know what she is going through just listen. This lady needs to be encouraged to be more active as the isolation that she has put herself in makes her worse. Encourage her to go out more and suggest that you do things together, the first few times will be the hardest for her. Her depression could be caused by failed relationships and this is why she is assuming you feel the same way, she has forgotten that you are a different person to her and deal with things in your own and different way and this is what you need to tell her. In a gentle way tell her that you are independent you can live without a man and you still go out and enjoy yourself without one, it is not the main focus of your life.Then encourage her to do go out with you and see how much fun you have and then maybe it will sink in. Tell her that you do not feel a failure at all as you have just got on with life and are making the best of it, make it clear to her that you are fine with your life and then be reassuring with her that she can and will get better but she does have to take small steps to achieve this, and you are there to help her, once she has more to think of in life then she will look less closely at yours of which her diagnosis of how you are feeling is wrong, just be persistent but gentle with her about going out and you will see positive results

Angie
Angie mob
4409
View Profile

I can see that your friend is rather delicate right now, and her behaviour of loosing contact with friends its typical of this illness and it is also one of the things that you should not do is cut yourself from people but she has lost her self esteem and her confidence big time. You are one of the most stable things that she has in her life right now. Therefore it is not wise to walk away. Depression is a ''real'' illness and not one that you can just pull yourself together, there is no quick fix, recovering from depression takes time and treatment. What she needs most of all now is you to listen. It is best not to assume that you know what she is going through just listen. This lady needs to be encouraged to be more active as the isolation that she has put herself in makes her worse. Encourage her to go out more and suggest that you do things together, the first few times will be the hardest for her. Her depression could be caused by failed relationships and this is why she is assuming you feel the same way, she has forgotten that you are a different person to her and deal with things in your own and different way and this is what you need to tell her. In a gentle way tell her that you are independent you can live without a man and you still go out and enjoy yourself without one, it is not the main focus of your life.Then encourage her to do go out with you and see how much fun you have and then maybe it will sink in. Tell her that you do not feel a failure at all as you have just got on with life and are making the best of it, make it clear to her that you are fine with your life and then be reassuring with her that she can and will get better but she does have to take small steps to achieve this, and you are there to help her, once she has more to think of in life then she will look less closely at yours of which her diagnosis of how you are feeling is wrong, just be persistent but gentle with her about going out and you will see positive results

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