Summer Loving!

Internet dating has long since shed its taboo status. Now everyone's doing it! But choose carefully. Choose a reputable site that matches your interests and qualities to a potential partner's.

The sun is shining and romance is on your mind! With long, balmy evenings and warm sunshine, summer is the ideal time to get out and meet new people. But how do you get over your first date nerves and turn a summer flirtation into a lasting romance? Find out here!



1) Love yourself

Before you can begin looking for love, you have to make peace with yourself. This means letting go of all emotional baggage connected with past relationships. Leave the past behind so you can move forward. Forgive yourself for previous romantic mistakes, knowing you won't repeat them. Be comfortable in your own skin by accepting yourself for who you are. Don't try to be somebody you're not. A true love will accept you as you are now. Be proud of who you are and what you have achieved. Then you're ready to look for love!


2) What do you want?

Finding love should be fun but it's also a serious endeavour. After all you're looking for a person to share your life with. So approach your quest for love in a thoughtful way by thinking about what qualities you are looking for in a potential partner. Do you want somebody who shares your passion for sports or theatre? Do you want to avoid people who live far away from you? This way you can target your search to find people with whom you have a good chance of creating a lasting relationship.


3) Accept those invitations

If you don't get out and meet new people, you'll never find romance! So say YES to every invitation you receive from friends, family, and colleagues. You never know, the friend-of-a-friend could turn out to be your dream woman/man. You should also create social occasions for yourself. Throw a dinner party or a barbeque and ask your friends to bring two people you've never met, who they think you'd get along well with. Connections lead to more connections.


4) Join a dating site

Internet dating has long since shed its taboo status. Now everyone's doing it! But choose carefully. Choose a reputable site that matches your interests and qualities to a potential partner's. If you pick a site that focuses on 'hook-ups' don't be surprised when you don't find lasting love! Perhaps select a site that has a small fee to join, that way you can be sure the people using it are serious about finding romance. Find a site that matches your outlook and you'll find a perfect partner.


4) Fake it!

Nerves can get in the way of finding romance. How do you approach somebody new? What if you're rejected? But most people are not confident. Instead, they fake it! If you smile, act in a relaxed manner, make occasional eye contact and speak slowly, you will appear confident - even if you're not. The surprising thing is, you'll probably find your fake confidence eventually becomes real confidence when you see that the person you're talking to is being put at ease. Result! But please don't confuse confidence with arrogance. Confidence is calm, open and friendly - very attractive. Arrogance is loud, egotistical and rude - a major turn-off!


5) Make friends

The strongest relationships are built on friendship. So your first move is to make new friends. Talk to everyone so you can find out who has the most in common with you. Of course, there will be some people who you are most attracted to, but don't dismiss other people because you don't like their dress sense or height. It would be mad to miss out on your soulmate just because you didn't like their shoes!


6) Be kind & open

If you want to be respected, you have to be respectful. So treat everyone with kindness, even those whom you have no interest in. You never know who they might know - perhaps a potential partner for you. Be open and honest with people. Don't pretend to be somebody you're not - it's hard work and you won't find a good relationship that way.


7) Ask for a date!

Spend time getting to know a potential partner as friends. But once you've seen that there's a spark there: ask for a date! Just do it. The worst that can happen is a little squashed pride. Keep the date casual, so there's not too much pressure on you both. A lunch date or an informal drink after work is better than a formal meal for your first date. On the date, try to get to know one another better. This is your time to see how you get along one-on-one. Ask lots of questions on likes and dislikes. Don't be judgemental, let the date flow. Don't forget to laugh and have fun!


8) Be Patient

Don't rush things. Take time to get to know each other properly. Avoid intimacy for at least the first few dates! It complicates things. You want to find out if you can deepen your friendship on an emotional level first.


9) Don't be afraid to call it quits

After a couple of dates, if things aren't working, don't be afraid to step away. Tell the other person clearly and kindly that you don't want to carry on dating. Make a clean break early on - it's much less painful. Equally, if the other person breaks it off with you, try not to take it too hard. It's better you know now rather than being messed around.


10) Try again!

Finding a true romance takes time and effort on your part - as well as an element of good luck. So don't be disheartened if it doesn't work out. Have fun meeting new people this summer and hopefully you will find the right person for you. He or she is most certainly out there.


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