Can I ever be with him

My ex finally managed to speak to me via my home phone when I refused to return his texts or calls as I had enough of being second best. This took almost 18 months and in that time I gradually healed myself, he asked to come over to see me and we spent a lovely day together and I only mentioned that he did not treat me right and I could see from his face that I had hit home. Neither of us said anything about seeing each other again but he came to see me 3 weeks later and kept in touch via texting within that time. I’m in a real dilemma he won’t open up and commit to seeing me again and I want to say that it can’t be like it was before. I would love to have an insight into this and find out just what is going on in his head and if there is any future for us to be a proper couple.

Hi Marie, I can see that it has taken you a lot of courage to become strong again, This man is showing signs of regret around him and I sense that he wishes to come back into your life on a permanent basis, I feel that one of his fears is that if he leaves it too late you could meet someone else. There is absolutely no ambiguity about the fact that he contacted you for the sole reason that he was thinking about you, wondering how you were, and maybe even questioning whether or not you had made the right decision in ending the relationship. When you mentioned about the bad way that he treated you it did hit on a raw nerve as the guilt of how he treated you all came to the front of his mind, this is something he feels embarrassed to be reminded of. I do see that there can be a future for you with this man and the way forward is to stay strong and not back down on what you want from him. The best way to handle this is to gradually take him back as he slowly proves his commitment to you. I do see that you will be given the opportunity to say to him what you have always wanted too and it would be good to let him to him that you feel so disrespected by the way he has treated you. This man will open up to you as deep down he knows he will have to in order for this relationship to truly work. People do make mistakes and it is up to you to make him realize that you can live without him and you have already achieved this by being silent on him when he first left you. I feel that the main thing is be strong always maintain your dignity and integrity and remain hopeful that all will be okay as I do see that it will be, this man has learned a tough lesson and I feel that you will be a proper couple as you will not settle for anything less and he knows this.

Hi Angie, I'm going on holiday in a few weeks time, and I should be happy and looking forward to travelling, but instead I have my head in my hands, in total despair. I have problems with my housing/council and they say I owe thousands of pounds, the man I just met a few months ago has decided he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. And in my place of employment, my line manager has reported me for accidently sending out the wrong information, making me feel like I have committed a crime. Please give me some kind words of wisdom.

I can see that you are in a really tricky situation right now, and I feel that regarding your housing/council situation you need to find out the full facts as to why they have suddenly decided that you owe them so much money. Basically you do need the proof and it would be wise to put something to them in writing i.e. an email and include in the email that you wish them to confirm by return that they have received it, once you get the information in black and white detailing how you owe the money (give them a 48hours deadline to do this) then arrange with them either for someone to come and see you at home face to face or arrange to go into the office to discuss this. If it if legitimate that you owe this money then arrange with them for an amount monthly that you can afford to pay it back. If they do not agree to this or you do not feel that this is owed or in fact you owe the money down to their error contact your local M.P. he may be able to help you to get an agreeable compromise. Do not run away or ignore this issue take charge of this and I really do feel that it will get sorted out. The guy that was in your life seems to have decided that he does not wish to be in a relationship any longer but it would have been polite to have explained this to you rather than 'blank' you out. Sadly there is little than you can do about this right now and you need to remember if he is capable of just going quiet on you he would be a really challenging man in the future to deal with and he would not really make you happy. Try to think of this in a positive way and that this is his loss and he is one less problem to deal with everything else that you are having to cope with right now. I am really not surprised that you have made an error in your work with all that you are trying to cope with at this present time. If work are not aware of the stress that you are going through with the council it may be wise to tell your line manager, I feel that he was left with no option but to report it otherwise he could have been in trouble if it had come to light and he has not done so. Again take charge of this and ask to see your line manager in private, explain what has been going on in your life apologise for your error and tell them that you will take more care in the future you do understand the implications of what you have done and will ensure it will not happen again. If you make the first move on this I actually feel you will be okay. This is a really difficult phase you are going through right now but given that you face up to the things that have happened and take some form of action not wait for them to take action on you, you will find the outcome of the council and work will be much better for you. I then feel that you can go on your well deserved holiday knowing that things are more or less resolved. Have a great time away!

Hi, I have been looking for work for sometime but nothing has come through for me.I am either not contacted or go to the interview to be told I'm too experienced. Am I doing something wrong I have never been out of work for so long before. Please can you advise when I will find work and if it is a permanent or temp role. Also I have had bad experiences in the past and wonder if i can at last find a company that will reward and develop me. Many Thanks

You are in a catch 22 situation, and  the problem is as you are over qualified, employers look at you in a negative way for example they will feel that you are going to get bored and un motivated which will lead to you being unhappy. The assume that you will leave the moment that something better comes along The way forward to this is convince them that you have a valid reason that you wish to take a lower level of work, for example, you are tired of crazy work schedules and you are interested in a better work/llfe balance. Make it known to them that although you are fully aware that you are over qualified for the job you would bring just as much passion to the role as  you would any other. You may have to convince them that you are flexible regarding salary. It may be and idea that when you get the interview lay your cards on the table and ask the  interviewer if he or she sees any negative i or positive to you getting the job based  on your higher level of qualifications. I do see that you will obtain a job during the winter months and it appears that it will be a permanent position, it will not be a job that makes use of all your qualities and qualitications however, you will be able to work your way up through the company. I am not seeing that you are going to be treated badly in your next jo You are going to make the progress that you need  and I can see that in the future you will be feeling happy and contented and you will be given the opportunity to use all your skills again.

I have a sister and brother who I have never met but we have exchanged email messages and we all would love to meet up with each other but I am really nervous of taking this next step and meeting them due to not getting on or talking with their father (who is also mine).

I can see that this is going to be really emotional for all of you and it is really natural that you are nervous about meeting up with them, in a way you need to take your father out of the equation, you are all adults and can make your own decisions and I can see that they so wish to meet you, this is part of your family of which you have been denied up until now. There is no blame on all three of you at all the fact that you have not been together up until now. If you are really worried about meeting up with them express your concerns and your fears to them as you will no doubt see that they too have the same fears as you and if need be maybe get some professional help in order to see this through. I feel that you will all get on really well with them and it will be the missing part of your life that you are now able to complete I feel that it would be an idea for you all to meet up and I have no doubt at all that you will then keep in touch for the rest of your lives. I really do feel that meeting up will bring good things rather than bad and the fact that you have not been talking for to your father for many years is not going to affect the relationship that you have with your brother and sister. I feel that as long as you take things slowly with your brother and sister I see not reason as to why this should not be a good thing, I feel you will not regret meeting up with them as they so wish to meet up with you.

There is a girl that I like, but she has just recently come out of a long term relationship. I think she likes me, but isn't in that place because of her previous relationship. What should I do?

Hi, This lady does have trust issues and this will take time to overcome. However; with some sensitivity and patience, it is very possible to build a new relationship with a solid foundation of trust. This lady has been through a really bad time. I am seeing that she does like you and it is due to the fact that she has been badly hurt in the past, so because of that that she is extremely cautious. I feel just for now it would be wise to keep talking to her in a friendly way over a period of time (and I am not picking up that it will be months, but weeks), and she will start to gain back her confidence. I do feel that her confidence did take a knock when her relationship broke up. You are correct in that she does like you, you have not imagined it at all, and this is only a matter of time before she will start to open up towards you and you will have the confidence to ask her you out and she will accept. You might say that she can trust you and that you’ll be there for her, but actions always speak louder than words, and this is only something that she will realise as time goes on. I do see good progress here and you will be happy in the future.

I know my husband loves me but since I told him my childhood life he stays out at night when will he return home why is he taking his time x

I can see that this situation is really worrying you and your husband seems to be trying to deal with what you have told him regarding your childhood, but he is not dealing with it very well at all. I am picking up that this has all become a bit of a shock to him. I feel that he also feels guilty that he cannot put it right what has happened in your childhood, he finds it all really hard to comprehend, I realise that you are concerned about this and he just feels so helpless about what happened to you even though it is history now. I can see that he appears to have a new set of friends and this is whom he spends time with at night at the moment they seem to look exciting to him but it will all turn very boring soon now. I feel the shock of what you told him which from your part took you a lot of courage to open up and tell him has made him just run for now, it is just his way of coping. This man will be returning to you as I can see that he is already missing you and his home life that he had with you, and I can see that he really does need to open up and talk to you about his feelings. I can see that he has not fallen out of love with you but he has just lost his way in life right now. The winter months look to be much better for you when your relationship does look to be relaxed again when you start to get this all back on track your patience will pay off.