Can I ever be with him

I threw my husband out, he is staying at mates on sofa and he told my mum he seeing someone. I don't feel he is, he told me he doesn’t love me anymore, I feel like he is trying to push me away as he can't support us. But he starts a new job Monday and we’re not going to lose house now. Will he come back to our marriage or are my instincts wrong xx

I can see that this man is really unsure of what he wants right now regarding your marriage and I see that the lack of work has had a detrimental effect on him as he does like to keep busy, being out of work has made him half the man that he was and it made him feel a complete failure. Many men have their identity wrapped up in what they do for a living. So much so that when they find themselves out of a job it's almost as if the man they are or were, no longer is. They don't recognise the face staring back at them in the mirror they feel lost. This man ran to his mates and he just could not face the fact that in his mind he had let his family down. I am not seeing that he has another woman around him, he was rather confused when he told you that he no longer loved you. He is going to feel like his old self once he has been in his new job for around six months I feel and over this period of time the relationship that he had with you will start to build up again, this is going to take a lot of time and patience on your part The key to getting your marriage back on track is not to push him in any way he needs to be allowed to settle in his new working life and as time goes on he will clear his head and then he will start to think about the family that he has walked away from. Time is of the essence here.

I'm friends with a guy at work, we hit it off as soon as we met. We started working for the company within 2 weeks of each other, both of us were approached to work there rather than applying. We have so much in common and we can talk for hours, sometimes it feels like fate has brought us together. We have kissed (after a few drinks) but not mentioned it since, I really like him and am sure it's mutual but he carries a lot of baggage from his past which has made him very guarded. I'm too scared of rejection to suggest we meet out of work and we live some distance from each other so I wouldn't just bump in to him outside of work! Sometimes I feel we have a real soul mate connection but would hate to lose his friendship if we had a relationship and it didn't work. I'd love some guidance on what to do (if anything) my intuition tells me we will be together but if it's felt that a relationship is off the cards or wouldn't work it would make it easier to try to let go. Thank you x

This man does have a lot of emotional baggage and it is likely that you are the first person that he has had such a strong connection with since he has had bad luck in his love area. He too cannot explain the way he is feeling right now but the connection that he has with you is really strong and in some ways it does scare him a little, this is why he is so guarded. As hearts travel from one relationship to another, it is only natural that we pick up some emotional baggage however some are far worse than others and the baggage that this man has is quite severe. In a way this man has set boundaries in his head to protect himself so that he cannot get hurt again and at times there is a danger of him rejecting someone that are in fact good for us. Different kinds of men respond to emotional baggage in many ways. The important thing to remember with this man is that the emotional baggage is only a turn off ''initially''. I do see that if you wish to be in a relationship with this man it can progress as he is most certainly attracted to you. The key to this whole situation will be patience and as long as you can let him take his time I do see that he will wish to be with you in a relationship and he will be able to let go of most of the past and there is a relationship that can work. To conclude this man will talk about past issues when he is ready and your patience and understanding of this will really pay off and you can have this man in your life on a loving and romantic level.

Hi Angie, today I received 2 calls with "Number Withheld" marked on my mobile. Of course it could be from marketing people, my ex husband calling because of our business (but normally he emails me when I miss his calls!), or it could be Enrique, a man from my past? I could be wrong but I feel it was him, if he is why was he calling?

I can see that the withheld number was not from your husband and he would do you as you say, send you an email. I am also not being shown that it is from any marketing people. The call was from someone that you are familiar with, the man from your past does have you on his mind and he has been wanting to make contact to you for some time now. He is rather embarrassed however, that he has taken so very long to be in touch with you and he is unsure of the response that he will receive from you when you do get to talk. Enrique has had quite a lot of things going on in his life, which he has started to sort out but it has been difficult for him not to mention emotional. Enrique has stolen your heart I feel but it has not been straight forward at all for you he made a big impression on you when you first met up and it was almost electric. Enrique has had you on his mind and sometimes he feels as though he is in a hopeless situation right now but I feel that he has started to face up to things and is making some progress. The reason for his call is that he has rung to tell you how much he is missing you and how he is trying to sort out his life right now for the better. I feel that Enrique just wishes to talk to you and put the record straight of where you stand and I do see this as being a positive thing indeed. He will call again.

I know that this coming year is full of changes for the better but I'm scared to embrace the change. Advice?

Hi Lisa, It is natural to not like or want change as it was really scary. The pathway that you are going to make is like seeing a pathway with crisp clean snow just after a big storm, this is a New Year and a new start for you. This year is a new chance to start all over again and to improve and to do something different and this will change your life radically. It is wise to have reasonable expectations of how you would wish for some things to turn out but it would be wise not to marry yourself to that result just accept whatever may come from it and you cannot go far wrong or be disappointed. Acknowledging change is allowing it to happen when it unfolds instead of approaching change from a place of denial and resistance, if you change your way of thinking then all will be fine you have some really good things ahead of you now In order to be successful it is best to accept and embrace change stepping out of your comfort zone this is now going to lead to so much more for you it is natural that you are fearful but once these changes have taken place you will look back at this year will no regrets.

When will my partners ex disappear he is causing unneeded bad energy around us all?

I can see that your partners ex has caused you as much trouble as she possibly can she is very angry that she has lost this man and it is sadly all about revenge and the last thing that she wants is to see that he is happy and settled The ex wishes to blame her former partner for the parting, she is angry and she is lashing out she will always use the best weapon that she has to hurt him. You are probably feeling traumatised by the emotional trash that she has shovelled in yours and his direction and of course you do not trust her at all not ever The chances are that his ex is going to be permanent pain for you until she has worked through her issues and this could be up to another six months before she does this, she will slowly come out of her grief tunnel. It has to be said that it is natural for her to feel this way and all you can do is stand firm knowing that it will get better and calmer. There are a few things to remember in this situation which may be of help to you:- You are powerless to control her behaviour and make it better. You and your partner however can only control your behaviour These are his ex partner’s issues. You will make progress and this will all calm down and then you can really start to get on with your marriage.

Hi, I caught a friend out lying to me about something important. Now I feel like I can never trust her again, I want to be friends but I can't let go of the deceit. I've had trust issues in the past and don't know if I'll be able to move on and be friends with her again. What should I do?

Hi Anne This is really upsetting for you as you have in the past told her your innermost secrets and the trust has been broken now. Friends lie for many different reasons it does not always me that they are not really your pal or even that they do not care about you. On the other hand sometimes they lie and it means that they are not such a good friend as you thought them to be. Good friends should be able to tell each other the truth. It is always easier to forgive an enemy than a friend and I can see that you will find this really hard to be friends with her again, you could rekindle the friendship but it really will not be the same as the trust has gone and you will choose not to confide in her in the future.. A friendship is based on loyalty and you should have been able to trust her without any hesitation, being loyal means keeping your secrets, respecting your friendship and being available when needed. I feel that you will be able to move on from this but not before you do speak to your "friend" and let her know how badly she has let you down and that your trust for her has gone, she really can be in your life if you wish her to be, it just will not be the same as this has come as a shock to you as she is the last person in the world that you thought would ever lie to you. Think very carefully about what you want or need from this friendship as it cannot be as it was sadly.