What is it that makes us go crazy when we are in love?

Finding it hard to get a grip because you are in love? Well don’t fear! According to BBC Science a study that took place in Italy reveals that being “In love” with someone tends to have similar symptoms to that of “Obsessive Compulsive Disorder”. (OCD) where one continuously obsesses over certain things such as cleanliness or the need to check doors are shut constantly. What is also interesting is that the science behind love indicates that there are three phases to actually falling in love and different hormones are involved at each stage. Believe it or not being in love with someone has strong similarities to mental illness. Other phases suggest that when we are attracted to somebody, it could be because subconsciously we like their genes. Smell is also important as looks when it comes to the fanciability factor. We like the look and smell of people who are most like our parents.

There are a number of different reasons as to why some romances last and some don’t and although much of it is down to biochemistry there is also a number of other things to consider such as our spiritual connections, our levels of communication and how often we choose to communicate with our partners as believe it or not the reason why so many romances fall apart is down to a lack of communication and understanding. This is due to the fact that many of us fail to understand how the other person is feeling during hardship in a relationship, in order to be in a relationship that is truly committed we must be willing to step into the other persons’ shoes and explore their issues with them, but it must work both ways.

Love is described as an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. When many of us experience the feeling of love it can be hard to put into words because love is also considered a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection. So when we experience true love there is usually a strong feeling of sincerity as it is unconditional and the part of ourselves that we are willing to give out freely, letting go of all barriers. It can be hard to distinguish the difference between love and lust. Quite often we feel so hot flushed when meeting someone extremely attractive that our hearts race, we become nervy and shaky and instantly mistake the feeling for love. Many of us revert back to our childhoods when experiencing a feeling of love for the first time, like a schoolgirl/boy crush as we remember how helpless it can make us feel. Sometimes we may even stick with certain groups of people to prevent ourselves from falling in love subconsciously out of fear but love is also recognised as part of a survival instinct and is said to be a function to actually keep human beings together in order for the continuation of the species.

So many of us choose to love in a variety of different ways and some will not allow the full amount of love within them to flow due to mental blockages which again, is another reason why many romances suffer. Once we have obtained and identified with the right amount of love within our own souls we can then be confident in giving it out. This is why it is so important to know yourself inside out before entering into a serious relationship, it is believed that the best relationship one can have is actually with themselves.

Psychologist Robert Sternberg formulated a triangular theory of love and argued that love has three different components: intimacy, commitment, and passion. Intimacy is a form in which two people share confidences and various details of their personal lives, and is usually shown in friendships and romantic love affairs. Commitment, on the other hand, is the expectation that the relationship is permanent. The last and most common form of love is sexual attraction and passion. Passionate love is shown in infatuation as well as romantic love. All forms of love are viewed as varying combinations of these three components.

Another researcher, Helen Fisher of Rutgers University in New Jersey proposed that we fall in love in three stages.( Each involving a different set of chemicals). She described the first stage as being lust driven by the sex hormones testosterone and oestrogen. Testosterone is not confined only to men. It has also been shown to play a major role in the sex drive of women. These hormones as Helen Fisher says "get you out looking for anything". The next stage is then the attraction stage which is the truly love-struck phase. When people fall in love they can think of nothing else. They might even lose their appetite and need less sleep, preferring to spend hours at a time daydreaming about their new lover. Then the third stage is the “attachment stage”. This is what takes over after the attraction stage, if a relationship is going to last. People couldn't possibly stay in the attraction stage forever, otherwise they'd never get any work done!

So it is easy to see how the process of love builds into a lasting relationship but perhaps another reason why relationships don’t always last is because some people never actually get passed the “attraction stage”. Sometimes attractions are so strong it can be impossible to live a normal daily routine and quite often when there is too much spark in a relationship it becomes ruined by petty arguments and disagreements. Therefore the overall conclusion of a long-lasting romance would clearly be defined as balanced, loving and committed. But there must always be something else that secures the relationship after the “attraction phase” has run its course or you will find yourself in "crazy love motion" forever..

Happy loving!

References:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/love/brain.shtml
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/love/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love

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