When a relationship ends, how do you learn to let go of the person and move on?
People come into your life for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime
The relationships we have with other people, no matter how long they are for, all play a part in our lives, big or small. Many people believe that everything in life happens for a reason, and this includes not only these relationships, but the end of them, too. Letting go and moving on from a relationship, whether romantic or platonic, can often be hard, as we cannot imagine our lives without the other person in it.
However, it helps to remember that every relationship plays a specific role, and every person comes into our life to fulfill a specific task, and when that task is complete, it is healthier to let them go than to hold on to something that is no longer serving a purpose. This is usually easier said than done however, so here we look at how to let go and move on from a relationship.
Give yourself time to heal
When somebody has been a large part of your life for any amount of time, it can be very hard to find them suddenly gone. As tempting as it is to try and instantly block out that person and all the memories that come with them, especially if the relationship ended on a bad note, it is important to give yourself time to heal. Trying to force yourself to get over something will only cause you to struggle more in the long run, so it is better to allow yourself time now to both grieve and reflect. Attempting to bury your feelings will only cause them to resurface in the future, so simply allowing yourself the chance to feel them now will help you in the long run. Time is said to be the greatest healer, and you will notice yourself feeling better as it goes on.
Give each other space
When you’re struggling to let go of a relationship, it’s tempting to try to keep in touch with the person, and to attempt to still be a part of their lives in any way you can. However, doing this only prolongs the inevitable. The best thing to do, as hard as it may seem, is to cease all contact for the time being. Give each other a little room to breathe, and to deal with things in your own way. There may be things you need to talk about, perhaps to get closure, but right now when emotions are running high, nothing good can come from being around each other.
Surround yourself with other people you love
It is tempting, when going through something as hard as a break up, to want to be by yourself and hide away from the world. However, doing this only gives you more time to think endlessly about what has happened, and how much you miss the person. Instead, spend time with your family and friends, and remind yourself of how many people love you. Those closest have all been through this before, and will be there to provide support and a listening ear. This will also help keep you busy, and therefore give you less time to wallow.
Get to know yourself again
Our relationships often become our whole lives, and instead of thinking as an individual, we get into the habit of thinking like a pair. When you spend all of your time with another person, it can be easy to neglect the things you enjoyed doing before the relationship. Now is the perfect time to focus on yourself, and rediscovering those passions. Spend time doing what you want to do, without having to worry about anybody else. You could even look at trying something new, something you’ve always wanted to do but never got around to; now is your chance to try new things, and you may even meet new people.
When times are hard, it is easy to get swept up in being sad and serious all the time. But wallowing in your sadness all the time is not helpful. Obviously there will be times when you can’t help but be sad, and it’s healthy to allow yourself time to feel it, during the healing process. However, you need to remind yourself that you can still have fun. Watch a favourite funny film, go to a local comedy club, or just sit and laugh with a friend; whatever you do, remind yourself that life goes on and that you will not be sad forever.
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