Why it can be so hard to let go

After splitting from a partner it can be incredibly hard to let go, depending on whose decision it was and how things were left. Most people forget that communication is the key to our healing as without it, conflict resolution becomes an extremely difficult issue to handle and we can find ourselves banging our heads against the wall!
 
In most cases we are not contacting an ex for them necessarily, we are merely doing it for ourselves. Hanging on to memories and thoughts of an ex partner will only drain your energy and block your intuition so it is important to do what you feel you need to. This could be drafting out a letter, making  a phone call or arranging to meet face to face. If you are finding that the ex is unwilling to cooperate at first then there could be many reasons for this.
 
Firstly, if you both desire a reconciliation then one may hold back and play ignorant due to a fear of rejection or it many cases domination can play a fairly big part, making us feel more vulnerable than a child, we then feel that we must retain the relationship in some form to block out the vulnerability and insecurity, but it is important to remember that going back is only a temporary fix, and when one partner declares domination over another it is usually because they are refusing to face up to a weakness within themselves. Whenever we are frightened for example, what is the first thing we do? If we are falling off a rock we try to grab hold of something immediately – fear is control and when  we look to control we must try and ask ourselves what it is we are trying to control exactly?
 
 Even if we own up to “feeling controlled” ex partners can be hard to let go of and this boils down to a number of different reasons including  timings, intentions, physical connections and many more. You may recall previous ex partners where you were simply able to just move on and forget but different connections stick with us in different ways and can torture us until we eventually reach the point of absolute frustration where we really have to do something in order to release our own tension.
 
 Interestingly many spiritual relationships have a habit of just breaking suddenly without any logical explanation or reason, this is because many spiritual connections link to past life bonds and contracts and there can be unfinished business. Sometimes one partner may not be ready to “finish the business” and this therefore explains the sudden ending that takes place and we can feel struck by lightening.

However, when we form close spiritual bonds with people we automatically mirror the other persons identity and aura. This can be terribly frightful, not to mention intimidating for the other partner, as they may not be completely aware of what is going on which then causes them to pull back because they are not ready to deal with the experience, and this again explains why many partners break up and then get reunite.
 
Most of us will encounter at least one spiritual relationship in this lifetime and we can find ourselves in limbo but through the channel of spirit release we can begin to understand the reasons behind the connection. Many of us that go through hardship in relationships begin to find a new sense of spiritual self which is vital for our soul development on the earth plane as it brings a new inner found happiness that helps us to aid the wounds of others who have also encountered similar experiences.
 
Remember that it is normal to feel numb when someone leaves such a powerful mark within our soul, we can feel hopeless and trapped, tricking ourselves into believing that we will never find anyone else, but in actual fact the truth of the matter lies in the hands of our own thinking. If we hold onto stagnant energies then we of course are going to feel stagnant. Addressing issues and matters of the heart can work wonders, even if you pour your heart out in a letter, it’s ultimately  the intention of your hearts yearning that helps you to clear the air waves.

But it is important to  remind  ourselves that we are communicating to help ourselves, not just to reconcile. This then paves the way for new opportunities in our lives and new romances that make us feel whole again without the controlling element attached to it. Once you have established where you stand with yourself your ex will undoubtedly be more open towards your feelings of hurt and a resolution is then reached but it is first of all important that we dig down deep to understand why we feel the way we do, this then facilitates the grounding between the two partners.
 
Things to consider:

How much of my time was spent smiling and how much of it was spent frowning?
 
Even if your ex made you feel amazing and the physical connection was beyond the beyond you have to ask yourself how happy you were in the relationship? If you spent most of the time crying and wondering where an earth you stood then it is more than likely that spirit are trying to challenge you in some way, perhaps so that you can  get a deeper sense of self, you may have found something within your ex that highlights yourself. Perhaps you were too reliant on each other? And it therefore suffocated the relationship? This is then a sign that you should strive for more independence in life! Sometimes what doesn’t seem obvious is the actually the key to our detriment.
 
Did you worship your ex?
 
Sometimes when we fall into worship and adoration for the other person we can  become transfixed which doesn’t give us enough space and time to think about our own gifts, not only that but our partners may become to reliant on our compliments and positive energy and vibrations that it doesn’t leave any room for us to grow individually. This is another reason why it is so important to step back from relationships. When we love and cherish ourselves we become extremely attractive to the outside world.
 
Are you constantly playing the record?
 
Reminding yourself of the past continuously will only push others away and it wont allow any room in for new memories. Even if your ex does decide to come back, the old memories that you are clinging onto will automatically push out an opportunity to make new ones. It may be a good idea to write your fondest memories down or keep them in a box. Going back over photos and rituals continuously will add to the glum. As soon as you find yourself replaying the record in your head , stop and try your best to snap out of it, visualising what bright events might lie ahead for you in the future.
 
With love and light x x  x 

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