Is it possible to find the perfect partner?
There are many different avenues we explore when trying to find the "perfect partner" - read on to explore some of them
Childhood friendships – is it possible?
Many of us have kept hold of our childhood friendships, we have made them last, we have treasured them and even used them as rescue remedies! Crossing the line however from friendship into romance can be tricky if you have treated each other as best friends. One may feel dutiful about keeping the relationship platonic, whereas the other may have slightly more amorous ideas. Social psychology suggests that friendships that fall into romance are labelled differently to how normal relationships form. The label used is called “storge”. This is basically where someone has a secret crush but refuses to speak up due to a fear of what might become. For example, many consider that if they cross the line of friendship then they may lose their dream or may lose connection with that person entirely. They may even end up in deep regret or even worse, the situation could turn into rivalry.
Another interpretation of storge is used to describe a sexual relationship between two people that gradually grew out of a friendship, For example, storgic lovers sometimes cannot pinpoint the moment that friendship turned to love. Storgic lovers are friends first, and the friendship can endure even beyond the breakup of the sexual relationship. They want their significant others to also be their best friends, and will choose their mates based on homogony.
Although it may be hard at first to keep your cool with someone you find adorable, the best thing you can do is maintain a sense of honesty so that you don’t end up pushing unnecessary boundaries out of assumption.
What is interesting however is an analysis of relationship surveys, carried out by  sociologist Anthony Paik who found that average relationship quality was higher for individuals who waited until things were serious to have sex compared to those who became sexually involved in "hookups," "friends with benefits," or casual dating relationships. The question was whether it's the type of relationship that causes lower quality or whether it's the people," he said. "The finding is that it's something about the people.” People with higher numbers of past sexual partners were more likely to form hookups, and to report lower relationship quality.
Through the acquisition of partners, Paik said, they begin to favour short-term relationships and find the long-term ones less rewarding. It may be a tough call but in the end we have to decide whether or not it is worth the risk of entering a relationship that may be a little too familiar but also the risk of clashing with one another and even losing a solid friendship. Many of us find deep friendships attractive because they feel safe and secure and they exert patterns and routines that we are use to. We may feel that no one else understands our identity or complexities in the same way as our trusted friends, but we may need to consider whether or not this is helpful in the long run.
Do opposites really attract? Or can we date someone very similar to ourselves?
Although research suggests that dating someone with strong similarities enhances the potential of a long relationship, relationship therapist, Patty DeVost says otherwise.
She expresses that dating an opposite will open your life to new experiences and diversity and adventure. It gives you a uniqueness as an individual and as a couple it strengthens your connection.” However, not all opposites are created equally. When dating an opposite, there are some things that should still be similar, like your idea of a financial plan, your stance on moral issues or how you feel about ethics.
Dr. J. Rushton, who has summarized a considerable body of research regarding relationship similarities, suggested several studies have shown that not only the occurrence of relationships but also their degree of happiness and stability can be predicted by the degree of matching of personal traits." The more similarities a dating couples has, the more likely they will find success in marriage.
However, it is important for us to weigh up the pros and cons of dating someone who is completely opposite to us. Ultimately what it tends to boil down to is the balance of the two: Someone that understands your needs but also someone that is able to encourage you and open you up to different perspectives to allow room for growth and development.
Positive and negative
It may also be important for you to consider the style in which you tend to think. For example, are you a dramatic thinker? Do you have a big imagination that tends to spiral out of control? If this is the case then it is more than likely that you will need a partner who can stabilise and ground. Neurotic thinkers need someone they can rely on, someone who is positive and can look at things in a logical manner. If the both of you are dramatic and have more of a negative outlook on life then it is more than likely that the two of you will clash resulting in arguments and disagreements, there is also the likelihood of stubbornness with negative thinking, putting major delays on decisions. Two positives tend to work better, however, there can be such a thing as being too optimistic leading to unrealistic expectations where both partners end up feeling deflated.
It may be helpful for you to study the negative and positive star signs.
All earth and water signs are negative:
Water - Scorpio, Cancer, Pisces
Earth - Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo
All fire and air signs are positive:
Fire - Leo, Sagittarius, Aries
Air - Gemini, Aquarius, Libra
Is it really possible to find your perfect partner in a love triangle? In some cases yes!
In other cases, a big fat no! Love triangles require you to take a long hard look within yourself and discover what it is you are looking for. In many cases, a love triangle is a sign or an indication that you are not happy with your current relationship. Therefore what this does is force an inner feeling and passion out that we had perhaps been suppressing. When we allow ourselves to play with the devil we open ourselves up to our own demon which fortifies our own sense of self – we are then forced to face up to reality rather than fantasy.
This will teach us lessons about desires that may be groundbreaking, it could also highlight how selfish we can be and also how willing we are to make something work. Usually it’s not until we have taken a good look around that we begin to see the results of our actions which facilitates which road to take.
There are two types of love triangles:
One is where two partners are trying to win one person’s affection or attention, and the other is where just one person is in love with one person but also likes someone else at the same time.
If you are in a love triangle, ask yourself which one? Think about your limits and your boundaries and then ask yourself just how willing you are to make a sacrifice.
With love and light x x x
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