Can I ever be with him

Do I have a future with the man I am currently dating? There seem to be many obstacles that need to be overcome if we are to be together. But our feelings for each other are strong, and we seem to share a connection. In fact, sometimes I wonder if my feelings are really mine, or if I am picking up his emotions. Your insight would be much appreciated. Thank you.

This man does have strong feelings for you, and he is fearful of what is ahead as there is such a lot to be resolved. He does want to be with you, however, you will see from time to time he can become quite negative in his thoughts as he knows in order to sort these issues that there are other people that are likely to get hurt this is what seems to scare him the most. I am being shown that this tricky situation can be sorted out but it will take quite some time for all this to happen and it could be well over a year before you see significant changes. The feelings that you have for this are yours you do own them. 

It will be a difficult time for you and it will not be without its ups and downs but I do see this man in your future years ahead.

Five years ago I met a man and fell in love, usual story! He however was married and didn't mention this important detail. We became friends for a short period after this where is disclosed his past hurts from his parents break up. Three years ago we lost contact as I had feelings and needed a clean break. I have moved my life forward so much and while single I have a happy life with my kids. The last six months however my sleep is haunted by the same dream, the man comes to my house and informs me he is getting divorced, I offer helpful advice and guidance. Why is this dream reoccurring? Two days ago when I had it he was sad, depressed and gained weight in the dream. I have healed these past three years and don't understand the dream.

Dreaming of an ex is quite a common dream and it means that even though you have been so very strong and carried on with your life which has not been easy for you at all, there still seems to be some unresolved issues. From time to time you may well think of this man and your dream is also helping you to deal with past emotions and you are still trying to 'clean up' some of the past issues you may have had.

Looking at this man it does appear that he had a shock when you called it a day with him and he also has regrets that he has not sorted out his life before getting involved with you, he seems now to be seriously thinking about leaving that marriage and it looks as though finances are what has held him back in the past. He is feeling rather down and the weight gain is surprisingly a sign of prosperity as he has worked out that he can be a lot happier with his life if he were to leave his marriage. Do not be surprised if he does come knocking on your door once more... The choice is yours.

I met a fabulous man and we were like soul mates (which I previously thought never existed) He and I were so close and I grew to become his best friend too. We have had a few intimate times and when we do its really great, it feels right and he is very much showing the same happiness, we have had a mini holiday and all sorts like that... However, when things get too good he can’t cope with this and goes missing for about a month. He has said that this is because he will not and cannot enter into a relationship as he was previously hurt and he said the depression he suffered is something he never wants to go through again. So for that reason we have never been an actual couple. Although it’s obvious to everyone there is this unmissable spark. I never bother him when he does no contact as I have a way of just allowing the space but I too now feel I am holding back because I am now starting to fear getting hurt, like he is. The attraction is impossible to ignore, I don’t know if its love, or what it is, but I am unable and he is unable to stay away for more than a month. My question is am I missing something, could he be using me, or are these feelings he has also spoke of real?

The feelings that you have for each other are genuine and he really does love you and his own fear is holding things up from letting you both move forward. This man really needs some professional help in order to overcome the hurdles that he sees as being real. The fear he has about getting hurt again was not something that he was born with it is something that due to a past hurt he alone has decided could happen again and it makes this situations unworkable when really it could be wonderful as there are deep, deep feelings between the pair of you.  

You can be with this man for the rest of your life the sad thing is that his behaviour will remain the same unless he stops being a victim to the past which is very sad for him and if he chooses to move on and deal with his fears in a positive way and accept the help that he is in need of then you can be in a very loving stable relationship indeed. If he refuses to sort these issues out then sadly things will always be as there are now but I am in no doubt that he does love you.

I was with a guy for a short period of time and the relationship was magical. Unfortunately it was short lived due to issues he had with family and past relationships. I am struggling to move on as I do not feel that any closure was given to the relationship. My feelings are still deep and I still feel a connection with this guy, can you tell me how he is and how and when I will get closure and move on, I am still hurting.

I am being shown that the reason that you cannot move on is due to the fact that there was no closure and it has been disappointing to you in a big way that this has not worked out for you. When I look at this man although lovely he seems to have been torn in many ways and has lost a lot of sleep trying to decide what would be the best action to take. He took a tough decision in letting you go. He is trying to get on with his life and at times he does think about you and misses you there are signs of regret. Closure is really about acceptance and once you start to accept that sadly this relationship was not meant to be you will then start to feel more positive and settled within yourself and will be ready to move on to someone new. I am being shown that there are happier times ahead of you this year.

I was in a relationship that was going well until by partners ex turned up after 18 months. She was very upset as she felt there were unfinished issues to sort out. This went on for several months with her getting more upset, depressed and then started to become abusive emotionally. My partner then started to feel guilty and out of concern for his EX's welfare, we separated. After a while the issues became intense and he had to have counselling. I was very upset that he chose her welfare over my own even though he knew she was manipulating him. We are still not talking and he is now isolating himself. I am worried about his mental welfare

This has been a really tricky situation and most of all upsetting. Your ex is very sorry for the pain that he has caused you and he really was not himself when he allowed the ex to return into his life, This man did what he thought was best at the time and he was very worried of how she was emotionally and she was very demanding and challenging and sadly you have been the one to be neglected. I am being shown however, that he is trying to sort himself out but he has found it very hard indeed to do so. Although he is isolating himself it would be wise to try to get to visit him he feels he has let you down badly and the guilt over the way he handled the situation is enormous. You have every reason to be angry with him and I know you are not talking to him but he actually does need someone to talk to and I feel that he would talk to you. If you do wish to be with this man then it will be you that has to make the first move as he thinks you do not want him try not to let the woman that caused all this problem win once again she had a plan and all along I suspect she wanted to ruin your relationship and to date she sadly has, if it were not for her you would still be together....

A few months ago my flatmate told me he is in love with me. In the last few weeks I have started to see someone but it isn't too serious as of yet. This has caused my flatmate to be really depressed and I cannot talk to me other flatmate as he is always in at the same time. I'm starting to feel a bit trapped in my situation and I do not know what to do about it. Please can you help?

Clearly you do not feel the same about your flatmate as he does his feelings for you have been growing and growing stronger day by day and he built up a scenario in his head of how things would be for the pair of you if you were together in a romantic way. This man is dealing with great disappointment at the moment and also you having a new man in your life has made it even harder. He was under the impression that there was some chemistry between the two of you, but you had chosen not to act on it on as yet, he was just waiting for the right time to approach you.

If you really do not fancy your flat mate then all you can do is be totally honest with him and in time he will come to accept this, the new man that you have in your life is slowly growing very fond of you indeed.