What sort of relationship are you in?
It’s a fact that all of us experience relationships. Even if we have spent years being single, most of us will have experienced a close, intimate relationship at some stage, even if it was for a short period.
But what is so fascinating is that there are so many different “types” of relationships that we can go through. And through certain stages of life we transform and therefore attract in the relevant type of relationship.
Have you ever noticed how when you are feeling sanguine and alert you attract people with the same attitude? Whereas if you were perhaps going through periods of distress or intensity you may find that you attract in that sort of energy. Intense situations and intense people! The karmic laws of life predict that we need to go through these experiences in order to ascertain where we really belong.
Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of secure attachment and are maintained with love and purposeful positive relationship behaviors. Additionally, healthy relationships can be made to "flourish." Positive psychologists are exploring what makes existing relationships flourish and what skills can be taught to partners to enhance their existing and future personal relationships. A social skills approach posits that individuals differ in their degree of communication skill, which has implications for their relationships. Relationships in which partners possess and enact relevant communication skills are more satisfying and stable than relationships in which partners lack appropriate communication skills. If we are not satisfied with the way in which we communicate or express ourselves then we are bound to attract relationship dilemmas! There are many things to consider when thinking about our relationship “type”.
We may be asked by friends or loved ones what we consider to be our perfect partner but the truth is that we don’t really know until we are hit between the eyes with real love, and in most cases our true love match is someone that we would never have considered. For example, we may know some couples who seem to be a complete mismatch and wonder how it was they came together, but somehow they have learnt to enjoy each other and learn from each other. Relationships that challenge us enable us to grow and represent something that has gone unnoticed. This is the very reason why couples that punish each other stay together, because the hardship makes room for the other person to grow, which often leads to a path of creativity and spirituality.
In order to understand the many different types of relationships a good lesson is to recollect and ponder over past issues and circumstances that have perhaps caught us in a web of despair. Glancing over past circumstances and understanding the lesson can be hugely advantageous to our future choices.
The trophy relationship
Most of us have known of couples who like to look good or feel as if they are bouncing off the others looks, power or exterior in some way. This is often known as “the relationship for show” where we feel compelled to stay with someone due to their status or looks, or vice versa. Relationships that are for show are also known to be individuals who possess expensive assets, clothing or sometimes those that break social conventions. They could have very knowledgeable interests for example or fit into a particular niche market that the other is desperately trying to get into. Perhaps they desire to be seen in a different light or pray that they will become recognised through their chosen partner.
Will the relationships last?
Extremely unlikely. Where one person is trying to progress forwards the other is trying to latch on. There can be arguments and debates over material or status. Jealousy can play a cruel act and possessiveness starts to take over. Usually there is a lesson for individuality and self confidence.
The intense relationship
This is the type of relationship that usually starts with fireworks and then ends with a bang! Intense relationships almost, always comes together when the union least expects it! And in most cases there has been a boring, mundane cycle in ones life when all of a sudden a whirlwind emerges as if out of nowhere. This can leave us feeling so excited and empowered that we forget to switch our common sense on and all logic goes out of the window. We often find ourselves taking risks that we never imagined because we are so delighted to be in something that exhilarates us and fulfils our needs. We find ourselves captivated, immersing into a deep pool of lust or love. We will risk anything for our loved one, even if it means they have complete dominion in the relationship, all we care about is that person and the chemical reaction that fluctuates back and forth, forming as a natural high.
We may neglect everything or divert from our usual routines acting carelessly and recklessly. This is crazy, stupid love that only exists inside the two minds of the union until one becomes burnt out because all too often the spark and fuse between the two can only last for so long before the other has discovered the need to withdraw. If one pulls back the other will fight, hence war begins.
Will it last?
Unlikely, but the lesson of risk often teaches us what it is we are prepared to sacrifice for ourselves. If we have risked too much and stepped over our own boundaries then re-evaluation is an essential part of the healing process after the bang has taken place!
The routine relationship
Most of us have been stuck in these at some point where we follow a feeling of a never ending story. This relationship is rather like a warm bath, we know it’s going to be getting cold soon but we are too comfortably numb and therefore reluctant to climb out of the tub! Sometimes this relationship is very on/off. There can be petty arguments, but both partners choose to ignore the end and continue to move past the sell-by-date. Single life perhaps seems way too daunting and because the two have become so use to comfort and one another’s security there is a refusal to let go which hinders growth.
Will it ever end?
Eventually it will have to or the two individuals will become so ratty with each other that war will eventually break them apart anyway. Usually they both become tired and bored of being stagnant. There will usually be a genius idea that comes of the blue such as travelling the world for six months or one partner may suggest that they take a temporary break which never filters back to its original state.
The perfect relationship
This relationship is utterly wholesome and has the right balance of elements. Without crossing any boundaries. Both partners know instinctively where the other stands. There are no mind games involved just peace, love and harmony. Usually the two would have been pulled together through a random coincidence and may have felt it coming before the actual meeting. This relationship will have plenty of spark attached to it, but rather than the spark burning out it transforms into something far greater. There is stability, trust, appreciation, love and true connectedness.
The balance between the two sees that they maintain a healthy, social and fulfilling lifestyle.
Will it last? Yes and then some!
With love and light x x x x x