Some things to think about when there is more than just one person involved
Many of us promise ourselves that we will never get involved in a love triangle, no matter how desperate we feel. Sometimes, however circumstances fall out of our control, and before we know it we are strongly attached to someone that isn’t quite sure about what they want. The pain of waiting and wondering is an excruciating feeling, but at the same time there is a whirlwind pulling you under, begging you to pull the string through the needle, only it’s tricky because you are slightly out of focus.
The important thing to remember about love triangles is that there always comes an inevitable choice and no matter how much we try and run away from that feeling, it’s going to hit us right between the eyes eventually whether it is something that is purely erotic or fixed. Psychoanalysis has explored 'the theme of erotic love triangles and their roots in the Oedipal triangle – (the emotions and ideas that the mind keeps in the unconscious).
Experience suggests that a repeated pattern of forming or being caught in a love triangle can be much dissolved by beginning to analyse the patterns of the childhood relationship to each parent in turn and to both parents as a couple. For example, in many instances, 'you find men who are attracted only by married woman but who can't sustain the relationship if it threatens to become more than an affair. They need the husband to protect them from a full relationship...as women who repeatedly get involved with married men need the wives'.
Perhaps you are the one that is being forced to make the choice and feel pressurised yet overpowered with guilt? Or perhaps you are waiting for someone else to make a choice? Whichever one, patience is almost certainly the test and whilst some triangles are more messier than others somewhere along the lines someone is going to get hurt. If you are a woman waiting for a man to leave his wife then there will usually be a deep routed fear that he finds incredibly hard to express, particularly if there are children involved as guilt is sure to follow and can take a long time for the person leaving their family to face up to their true feelings. Women often feel that it is their right to take the children with them due to maternal instincts and a nurturing quality that sometimes men find hard to give. But men often feel it is their duty to provide and maintain their families, even though they may have become bored and fed up of a routine lifestyle.
There are many questions to ask yourself when faced with a triangle. If the person you are waiting for is having an affair because they are bored then how do you know they will not repeat the same behaviour with you? Are your instincts in the right place? Or have you perhaps been swept away under false conditions? The idea of an affair being sneaky and spontaneous is sometimes something that is so attractive and alluring within itself that we become lost in our own fantasies and forget about the reality of the situation, so when the truth stares us in the face we feel completely let down – not by the person we are having an affair with necessarily but by our own expectations.
Sometimes a fling is just a fling, we take what we need from it and then move on but when our feelings become deeply attached to something that isn’t quite grounded we have no choice but to step back and revaluate. Promises can only gives us confidence for so long, the chances are is that if they have told you they will leave their partner behind a dozen times and haven’t then they never will. The question you need to ask yourself is – When is enough, enough? Is it you that is doing the chasing or is it them? Perhaps it is a backwards and forwards treatment and now you have had enough? Sometimes we trick ourselves into believing that the chase will be worth it when really we are following a path of unrequited love.
What love triangles also do is test our values and self-worth. It makes us more aware of who we are and what exactly we are prepared to give out. Being inside a triangle often distorts our views and naturally when we step out of that triangle, we can see exactly where we were going wrong, but quite often without realising, we end up in love triangles because we feel trapped and unable to detach ourselves from the marriage or relationship we wish we’d never ended up in or the boyfriend/girlfriend that promised us the world. Sometimes the betrayer sees good qualities in both lovers and can’t decide, perhaps one lover offers passion and the other comfort? It can be hard to determine which pathway is best, but usually by the time you have decided what to do, it is too late and the other person has become tired of waiting.
An interesting way to view triangles in this case is that the soul is perhaps experiencing a journey , it has almost split itself in two because it can not find the right balance and unfortunately the only answer is to experience solitude so that a rational decision can be made. Quite often the betrayer will find that they actually just need to experience the actual experience of being single again.
As humans, we naturally cling on to others for support and love when we are fearful of an instinctive feeling that we do not wish to face up to so it is no wonder we go looking for comfort and support but sometimes the experience of being alone opens your mind up to the inner self that you have perhaps been hiding from releasing new spiritual thoughts and awakenings. After spending time in reflection you will either go on to experience new love or connect with the person you were desiring all along. But the most important thing to pay attention to when going through the painful process of a triangle is the soul’s yearning as sometimes the craving isn’t what you thought it was.
Take time out for you and be true to your needs!
Love Triangle reference - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_triangle