Can I ever be with him

Hi, I feel I am very distant sometimes from my family… I want to build the bridge and become close again as we were when we were younger, how do I go about that?

Hello Emily, This is something that is going to need to build and it may take a while to be closer to them all once again but I feel that this is certainly something that can become reality with a little bit of work and patience. Firstly do not force this upon them otherwise they will start to hate it, this has to be done softly and communication is of utmost importance. Initially you need to look at the real reason that there is this distance between you, and work out ways to resolve these issues. At times some things cannot always be fixed, some people are difficult as they are deeply troubled and they have a lack of being able to resolve issues with others. I can see that there is one member of your family that is more difficult to handle that the rest, this is the one that may try for a while to resist the hand of friendship that you try to offer. This is all going to be about compromise, and all families do experience problems and face challenges at some time or another. One of the main things in order to be close to your family once again is not to be scared this may be quite a tough time for you but stay brave as you can and you will fix it. I feel that it will be best to be honest and open with all your family members in order to turn this around and you will find that this will be appreciated and the relationship with your family will build and build. I cannot guarantee that it will be the same as when you were younger as you are grown up and have your own personalities, but I do for see that you will have a balance relationship with your family, the main key to this working, is once you have made contact and good progress keep the lines of communication open, ring at least one of them or visit if you are able once a week, keep yourself in the loop and you will see that the effort that you are making will be reciprocated.

Can you tell me do we pick our pets on a spiritual level? I find myself with a 9 week old puppy yet I have never wanted pets before due to my busy life style. I have watched him with my 2 children and around the home and he fits in like he has always been here and was made for my family!

Hi, Thank you for you interesting question and yes pets that you pick are on a spiritual level and this is why your puppy is so happy and relaxed around your family life as it is in tune with your family. This puppy is going to be very therapeutic for your family and really does belong with you. The spiritual link between your family and the puppy you are not meant to understand it, just to learn and grow with it. Pets demonstrate spiritual qualities, unconditional love, joy, and creativity. The bond between a pet and his/her owner is often deep and profound. Animals resonate with us in a deep way that few humans can. This is due to the fact that animals do not have an ego. They don't have obstacles in the way of their love and their connection with the divine. They love unconditionally and are constantly doing good for us in ways we often do not recognise. We may feed them, groom them, take them to the vet, and in return they soothe our souls in a subtle, but perceptible way. Enjoy this new addition to your family and remember it will love you unconditionally too.

Life can throw you diversions. Opportunities that divert you away from the path you are walking on. How do know which turn/choice is right for you?

We make decisions every day of our lives, everything that we say and do is a result of a decision that we have made, there is no easy formula for making the right decision. One of the ways of making the right decision for you is to approach it from as many perspectives as possible. It is then that you are able to choose something that this balanced and reasonable at that time. If you are feeling unhappy, unfulfilled then you have diverted away from where you are supposed to be as we all have the potential to do something amazing that can fulfil ourselves you should do what you deeply want to do even though at times it could be scary. I feel that in order to go along the correct pathway even though you may have taken a wrong turning you need to go by your gut instincts and what your body is trying to tell you. Being on the right path is simply doing what you feel is best for you and if you then feel that this was not the right thing for you taking ownership of the mistake you have made and change it, no one is perfect therefore we are all capable of getting thing wrong this is something that we have to accept. Always remember that just because ''everyone else'' seems to be taking a route (either in jobs, spending habits, social life etc.) this does not mean that you have to follow them.

Hi I went out for a meal with a girlfriend of mine at a local bar/Restaurant in town and had a good laugh, whilst we were eating the chef who served our delicious meal started stroking my hand and stroking my face, at first I thought this guy was "the top flirting" so I let it go we enjoyed our meal and went home. Went to the bar and saw the chef again and this time he gave me his number is this man serious about me? L&L. D

Hi Dionne, I can see that the Chef is attracted to you and he is not normally the sort to give out his telephone number, he has now left it in your hands to make the initial contact as although he does like you he did not want to seem too pushy and ask for your number. I can see due to his working life he is limited for time to take you out so please bear this in mind as he will not be able to spend many evenings with you due to the unsociable hours that he works. I feel that when you do decide to call him it would be wise to let him have your number as it sets a boundary and it lets a man know what he has to do to pursue you, this enables you to know if he is interested as he will then start to call you. Let this man ask you out not you ask him. Just one phone call to him will not hurt it pays to not be too eager or available let him do all the chasing otherwise if you are too keen or handing yourself over to him on a plate he need not make any effort at all. If this man does not lift a finger to get in touch then you know that he was never genuine and you have had a lucky escape. I suspect that this is not going to be the case however, I do see that he will make a big effort, and there are happy times ahead of you.

I have been widowed for several years now and I dearly would like to meet someone new. All the men I meet are selfish and usually just want me for one thing!! I feel so depressed. I have a man who I have been seeing for two and half years on and off. I feel a very strong link to him. However at times I feel I dislike him so intensely because he can be so rude and does not seem to be on my wavelength. However at times I love him to bits as he can be so loving and compassionate. How can this man have two sides to him? I feel he has been damaged in some way in the past and therefore he can be on the defensive. I also feel at times that he is not telling me the truth over everything and that depresses me but I can't prove it. However at times I feel I am over reacting. Is he the man for me or will there be someone else? I feel so confused.

Hi Mary I can see that the man you are currently seeing is hard work for you at times and two and a half years later he has not really improved, this man as you say does have two very different sides to him. Even though you have great love for this man I feel that he will not change, he does seem to be set in his own ways. I feel that he does not seem to understand how it upsets you when he is rude. He knows that you are there for him and it appears he thinks that you will always be wanting him and waiting for him. As human beings we tend to accept the love we think we deserve, and sometimes you think for some reason you feel that you just cannot get out. I feel that deep down inside you know that this man is not right for you but you stay and you have tried even harder for this to work. The problem is the longer that you continue this cycle the more your self worth starts to erode this then makes it harder and harder for you to remove yourself from this relationship. Do not forget your worth and this relationship is not working out as you would like it in the present, therefore, it means that it is meant to work out with someone else in the future. I really do feel that if you choose to walk away from this man then there is someone else for you. This new man is very down to earth, and has a lot to offer you for your future. I do feel that this man has been damaged in the past and this does affect your relationship for sure and this really is something that he needs to address with someone professional. I really do not see that you are over reacting at all, this man is difficult for you to handle and I can see that he will always be this way. The decision of where this goes is not going to be easy. I can see how difficult that this is for you, but if you are looking for a man that makes you feel wanted, special and well loved then you will get this with a new man and not this current one. It is time to do some serious thinking…

I lost my husband on the 3rd of may and I feel my life ended to as I was his carer for ten years to lose him as I did has taken the will to go on too hard our kids heartbroken to and I cant help them please help I need my husband so much.

Hi, I can see that the loss of your husband has had a devastating effect on all of you and this is so hard to deal with. The feelings that you have for this loss is perfectly natural and the fact is, there are no rules to how you cope with this loosing someone you love and care deeply for is very painful and you will all go through difficult emotions and it feels as though the sadness you are experiencing will never go away. I cannot promise you that all the pain will go away but in time it will be easier to deal with. You have all had a significant loss therefore, the pain is more intense and I can sense that you feel so helpless where your children are concerned as you feel bad that you are unable to take their pain away. Your children too need to go through this process of grieving. Even though right now you are finding this loss really hard to cope with there will be acceptance and you will find peace knowing that you are powerless to change this and you all loved and cared for this man especially when he became unwell, this man knew how much he was loved by all of you. This made his life so much better as he had people around that really cared and you did a grand job looking after this man for ten years and you should be so proud of this. A lot of your life was spent caring for him rather than socialising etc and this in turn has left a big gap in your life as you have time on your hands now where you do not know how to fill the gap. The sadness of loosing him never goes away completely but it should not be centre stage when the pain and the loss is not quite so painful. Over the time the initial shock and horror will fade as your loss does become part of your life. You will being to get back into day to day things and you will all start to focus on other things in your life. Blessings