Losing someone close is a burden many of us are likely to have to face in our lifetime. But because it is painful to contemplate such a final goodbye the subject is seldom talked about. So it's easy to feel isolated after the death of a loved one, as friends and colleagues struggle to find the right words to comfort you. It's important to know that you are not alone and your world will become bright again. Allowing your grief to run its natural course, and not feeling ashamed or trying to push aside your feelings is the key to recovering your sense of self again. Here is a spiritual take on the grieving process and how to rediscover your light at the end of the tunnel.
What is Grief? If someone close to you passes away, grief is a natural process that helps you cope with your loss. It is the human psyche's way of dealing with death, both physically and mentally. Importantly, grief helps you to make sense of your emotions and helps you to begin to come to terms with your loss. The stages of grief can vary from person to person but they usually encompass the following: *Shock *Denial *Acceptance of the loss *Sadness *Recovery All of these stages are normal. Each one may take weeks, months or a couple of years to progress through. But if you get stuck at one particular stage for many years this can be harmful and you should seek counselling to help you move forward. Often people have feelings of anger and misplaced guilt over a loved one's death. It's important to express those feelings to a trusted friend or counsellor so you can deal with the emotions that arise.
Spiritually Speaking... Death is part of life. In Western culture, death is usually seen as a negative, scary event. But death can be a release from pain and suffering. Obviously the death of a young person is very difficult to understand. There are no easy answers; only acceptance will bring peace. In spiritual terms, death is not the end; it is just the next stage of existence. The essence, life force or soul of a person can never be destroyed; it lives on in spirit.
The Road to Recovery...
Know your loved one is safe and happy Death is returning to spirit. Departed souls return to a state of bliss, free from the physical and emotional pain of a mortal body. You feel the sadness of your loved one's passing but they are now happy and safe.
A Candle Meditation Pick a moment once a week to visualise your loved one in a happy, contented state. Light a candle (on a fire-safe surface) and look into the flame. See your loved one looking radiant and happy. Know that s/he has moved on to the next stage of their existence. Remember them with love.
Know your loved one is always near Although your loved one is no longer on the physical plane, you can be sure they are watching over you. Talk to your departed loved one in your mind or out loud. Tell them about what is happening in your life and ask for their advice. Be sure to look out for signs from them - white feathers or coins or something that reminds you of them. It is normal to dream about a deceased person. Positive dreams are messages of reassurance from the person, telling you they are happy in spirit. Whereas any negativity that comes through in dream form is much more likely to be your own emotions and fears coming to the surface.
Communication A psychic reading or a tarot reading can offer the chance to communicate with a person who has passed. Perhaps you have some unresolved questions to ask or you would just like to make a connection with your loved one. Readings can be a positive way to link with a loved one.
Let go of your sadness Your loved one would want you to be happy. You will never forget the loss of the person who has died but, in time, you will learn to remember the deceased person with happiness rather than sadness. Think of the good things they brought into your life, think what you learned from them and the times you spent together. These are precious memories will always be with you. See the time you had together as something you gained not something you lost.
Remember with happiness Make a scrapbook filled with images, keepsakes, ticket stubs, letters, emails - anything that makes you think fondly of the person who has passed. Cherish these memories with joy.