Can I ever be with him

Hi, I have a pretty standard and happy life but I crave more excitement and adventure. I have recently been given the opportunity to pursue the excitement I crave but it would mean giving up the life I am already quite happy with. Should I take the risk and embark on a potentially life changing adventure that could fulfil me in ways my current life never has? Or should I settle with what I have and be content that I’m actually happy even if it doesn’t satisfy all my needs?

Hi, I sense that it may be that the thought of failure rejection or humiliation is such a worrying thought that is holding you back from taking the risks in order to pursue the excitement that you crave, at the same time however, you also know by doing this you have so much to gain. If you choose not to take the risk then you will stay in a mediocre place and watch whilst other people around you move towards their dreams, you would also always feel that unsatisfied if you do not take a step forwards into what you really want to do. Think about what is the worst that could happen? I do see that you will make the right decision for you and I am sure that you are not going to be feeling that there is lack of excitement in your life. Better things are ahead of you.

Hello. Can you help me please? I found out other day my ex-boyfriend of 3 half years on and off got married to the woman he got with 3 weeks after splitting with me; they’ve only been together 5 months!!! I'm absolutely heartbroken!! I'm 38 years old and never felt like this about anyone!! Thought he was honestly my soul mate and he'd come back and we'd sort things out. There are rumours now she's pregnant. I'm heartbroken!! How do I make the pain to go away???

It is understandable that you are feeling down due to the fact that you held out hope that you would still be with him and you are trying to figure out why he married her and not you, the feelings that you have are totally normal and painfully normal. I can see that you have not managed to truly move on. Accepting that he is now married means that you will never have him in your life again and you will never know the answer to why her and not me. Time does heal all wounds it is a cliché, however it is often true. Sadly there is nothing that you can do now but try to move on and letting go of someone that you love is rediscovering your passion and your identity. It is time to focus on the most important person in your life and that is you. No matter what you did not do in that relationship it really has ended, the way to move on now is to try to accept what has happened.

I've been having an affair with a younger man because my husband no longer satisfies me. Should I leave my husband and start a new life with this younger man or should I stay with my husband?

The choice has to be yours I can see that your husband loves you even though you feel that your husband does not satisfy you. It would be wise to have a heart to heart talk with your husband to let him know how you are feeling. The younger man is enjoying having an affair with you but it is very unclear that this relationship would be long lasting so you do need to bear in mind that there could be a period in your life when you spend time alone. Think very deeply and I can see that will do some soul searching the fact that you are unsure if you should stay or go from this marriage shows that there are doubts that you really want the marriage to be over and if you did decide to leave there would be no going back.

Hi, I've been struggling to find a happy work, life balance and feel it is affecting my life ina negative way. What can I do the achieve a happy medium? Thank you

I sense that you need to look in a different direction regarding your work in order to try to establish a balance for you. There is also the possibility that you may need to enlist the help of others in order to make this really work out, and make life easier.

The change of job may not be what you ideally wish to do, but it would give you more time with your family which you badly need right now. I sense that it will be towards the end of 2015 when you will find the job that will improve your life.

Hi, I've been in a relationship for the past 2 years and at first I was very happy. After about 6 months we moved in together and things really changed. I found out that she had lots of debts that she didn't tell me about that I'm now having to help her pay off as otherwise she couldn't afford to pay her share of the rent and bills. She seems a lot less interested in me now we live together and seems more interested in going out with her mates than spending time with me. Part of me feels like she is just using me to pay off some of her debts and when she is done she will discard me. What should I do? Thank you

I am being shown that you do need to take control over this situation as you are the only one that can change this; she purposely did not tell you about the debts as she knew that there was always the chance that you would not move in but walk away from her. Your partner is happy with the situation as it is you helping towards paying the debts off and it also allows her to have spare money to see her mates. I sense it is time to have a long talk with her about how you are feeling as this relationship appears to be one sided; I also sense that you will seriously consider walking away. Do not be fearful of this as there is an indication that you would meet someone new where the relationship would be far more balanced. Better times are ahead of you, but you may have to seriously think about letting this lady go sadly.

Hi my name is jane and for quite a while now i have been feeling very down I look after both my husband and brother in law who are both disabled and i really dont see life changing i struggle with money every week and really cant see life improving please please can you see any light at the end of this dark tunnel many thanks jane