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I have been working in organisation for over 20 years which has provided me with many wonderful opportunities to travel and experience many different cultures. But it has undergone a massive restructure and I find myself wondering whether there may be somewhere else for me where I might be valued more and where there is a career progression without having to give so much. Do you see a future for me in this company.

Hi Fei yi Lau I can see that you have already had a good career, and you are still hungry for more success which is good, I feel that the companies restructuring as you say is massive and things in your working life are just not the same. I feel that if you decide to stay within the same organisation then you will progress just a little further, however not as far as if you take the brave step of choosing to work for another organisation. I feel the changes around your current organisation is going to be rather challenging indeed and will not necessarily always be as you would wish it to be, I keep feeling that you could well find it frustrating and held back in some way. I actually am aware of the fact that they will want more and more from you without much back in return causing you to feel rather fed up. I also see that even though these changes have been major, there well could be some more in the not too distant future. I feel that if you stay where you are you will not reach your full potential and will get taken for granted in some shape or form, and even though the thoughts of moving on may seem a little scary as you have been with the same organisation for over 20 years which really is commendable it does show how committed to are to your work, you still need to change. My advice is to look for somewhere new to work where I feel that you will benefit in your career by a new company that will also have a fresh approach to you, you will be able to cope with anything at all that comes your way, I feel that the change will bring about much optimism for you and many, many more opportunities for sure and by the Summer I feel that you will have found a new job to suit you. I wish you luck.

Will I get back with my ex W?  I feel we r meant to be toge, we split because of jealousy on his part, he has been seeing sum1 new, but I'm   Not sure he's happy as he's been tryn to contact me & turned up at my work , I was too upset & shicked to talk , he said he'd make sure he bumped into me again, that was on Fri, then his friend said he thought he was with that other Girl on Monday, I dnt know what to think, plz can yous advice me , he's 19th Aug, I'm 7th May :( xxx

Hi Elaine, I feel that your ex is really confused right now, and his jealousy issue played a major part in the failure of your relationship, and he has not changed at all not even since you have parted company. The reason I say this is I feel that the new relationship that he is in at the moment is still showing signs of jealousy. He is not happy in this relationship at all and he does not wish to stay in it. This man I can see has deep, deep regret that you are no longer together and he will not give up trying to get you back in his life and re kindle the relationship. He hates rejection of any kind at all and does not wish to be on his own, he is also really unsure if you will allow him back into your life but by seeing the other girl he is actually keeping his options open right now, he will not finish it with her until he is sure of how he stands with you. There is going to be the option that this man will want to come back to you in your life but there are issues around this, if you wish to have him back, I feel that there is a lot of talking to do, in order to get things back on track his jealousy issues are still apparent though and if you do decide to have this man in your life, you will have the same problems as last time and this is not good at all. Jealousy does taint a relationship and can really ruin a loving and healthy partnership such as the one that you had into a nightmare. This man will want you back in his life and will go all out to try to get you it is fine if you decide that you do wish to be with him, however, I feel that he needs to change his behaviour towards you in order for this to work a second time around, otherwise you will encounter the same identical pathway. Jealousy is a real issue and when left untreated can create a permanent wedge between the two of you but overcoming jealousy in a relationship is a possibility, this man's jealousy may have stemmed from past experiences with girlfriends, he may have been cheated on and this would make him more possessive and controlling for fear of repetition. This can happen even if you personally have given him no reason at all to make him doubt you. To conclude, I feel this man will want you back in his life and he will finish with the other woman for good, he needs to address his problem of the jealousy issues that he has, otherwise this reunion will only lead to yet another parting of the ways… these issues are the reason why you went your separate ways in the first place. If this man is not willing to sort out his issue regarding jealousy, think carefully before having him back in your life, as it would just not work…

I love my boyfriend of 8 years. He’s smart, funny, kind and loving and he has a great job. But he’s fat! When we first got together he was really fit and very muscular. Now he’s is web-designer, and all his muscle has turned to fat. I still love him but find myself un-attracted to him and looking at other guys with better bodies. What should I do?

The question that you need to ask yourself here is what attracted you to him in the first instance, and as you say it was his personality of how funny kind and loving that he is that attracted you towards him. This man has a lot of good attributes that you admire that attracts you to him. You need to establish what matters to you most, consider the sort of person that he is and not the type of body he has. If you really do love this man then his body size should not be a big issue. You can gently suggest that he needs to loose weight and point out the benefits of this, ( remembering that he could feel rather sensitive about his weight), and remind him of how he looked when he first met you, and if you can encourage him to go to the gym and maybe you could support him by joining in with him there also, try to encourage him to eat healthy and tell him that you wish for you both to still be around for the next 10-50 years so it would be wise to start making healthier choices and make these changes along with him. You could meet a man that has a really nice body that could treat you really badly, whereas you have a man that you clearly do get along really well with and you can still see his good qualities that attracted you to him in the first instance. One of the reasons that this man may have piled on the pounds may be due to the fact that he is happy and contented in your relationship and I feel if he knew how you felt about the size of his body he would be quite upset, if you handle this gently and be very tactful I feel sure that he will endeavour to seek some form of weight loss programme as I feel that he will pay attention to what you are saying as long as this is handled gently. Bright Blessings

Ex wants to come back, says he is willing to stop running and make it work this time. It’s a case of head and heart. Either way I feel I will get hurt. If I trust I may have that glimmer of hope we can make it work, but what if it goes wrong? Or I walk away and never know what could have been. He 19.07.70 I’m 09.08.78

Hi Jenny, Having this man back can all depend on various things, the main reasons, why did you break up in the first place. Exes are always exes for a reason, this man may be lonely and has now come to realise and he has made a mistake in you parting company. This man will say all that he wants you to hear but does he really mean it? With this man if what happened in the first place that caused this split is something that you really cannot find in your heart to forgive him then there really is no point in reconciliation as it simply will not work. This man I feel has slowly destroyed your trust, and this is not going to be easy to get this back on track. I can see that there are a lot issues around this relationship and to date, this man has not changed and even you have heard the words before that he is willing to stop running. This seems to be a pattern with him and I am sorry to tell you he does wish to be with you but his behaviour of ‘’running’’ you will experience time and time again. Sometimes it helps to get a blank sheet of paper and write down all the good reasons for letting this man back in your life and all the negative reasons for doing so, this may well help you come to a conclusion. To have him back from what I can see is a major big gamble and due to how he has been this has knocked your confidence you seem to build it up again only to get knocked back again by him. If you look back at the relationship, think of the enjoyable things and how good it was, then think of the not so great things the things that made you cry and the horrible things is brought into your life which one outweighs the other? If the bad takes over, then would it be wise to have this man back in your life only to make you miserable for more of your life? I feel that deep down you already know what the outcome will be to having this man back in your life, he will be a great challenge to you as I feel that you will have quite an issue with trusting him again, which will lead to more heartache. Your biggest fear could be that you will be left alone, I do not feel at all that this will be the case there is going to be someone very different for you in your future. I realise that letting this ex go permanently is going to be soul searching and hard, but I feel that you will make the right decision for you.

I have been in a relationship for 18 months. Both different cultures. We had one huge blow out argument 1 week ago, and I have for the first time not gone running back and apologising first. We had a wonderful relationship, but both very fiery. Me Aries, 28.03.75 and him Leo 26.07.85. I am usually the one to back down and say sorry. Leo's never say sorry. My answer is how is he feeling, will he return and contact and want us again?

I can see that your Leo man is feeling quite wounded at the moment by the things that were said in this rather ''heated'' argument and I feel there were things said on both sides in order to hurt each other. This man can be rather stubborn and as you say the words of ''sorry'' do not appear to come into his vocabulary. At this moment in time he is thinking that it will be as always and you will eventually go running back and apologize for some of the things that are not really always your fault as he knows that you are always willing to take the blame when things do go wrong, and the fact that you have not as yet, has quite shocked him I feel. His perception of you is that you would always give in and you are almost like security for him as he has never really had to even think of saying sorry as he always knew that you would, this in some small way has gone against you but it is your kind nature that has done this as you do not want bad feeling and of course you love this man which it totally understandable. Expecting an apology means that you are ready to forgive and you will get ''some'' form of sorry from him. This man after much thought will be in contact with you again and this will be to try to get this relationship back on track and I see that the contact is soon now, there is a lot of talking to be done to sort out these issues once and for all therefore, and patience is needed here. Once he has made contact with you in order to resolve this it is best to express your true feelings in a precise way. An honest conversation will really makes things a lot better. There is virtually no relationship in the world which does not suffer from the woes of occasional arguments and conflicts. There are more reasons to keep you together in this relationship than you are probably aware of, a good way to get over the issue in an argument is to think of all the good things about your partner and appreciate them for that this is both something that you need to do. Learn from these arguments and reach a amicable agreement over some issues which you will not repeat in future such as calling each other names or saying hurtful things. With all this in mind, I feel that you can put this relationship back on track this man has had a fright as he now has begun to realise you mean business, on this occasion you have not done all the running, therefore, this man will learn a lesson and not take it for granted you always the one to say sorry.

I am having a baby but my husband is not the father, do you think i should tell him and come clean? The father is actually his brother.

Hi Sarah, I can see that you current situation is really tricky and to keep quiet about this means that no one will be the wiser your husband will bring the child up as his own and there will not be a family rift as this child belongs to your brother in law, which will cause a major upheaval and pain in the family. The only issue with this is you will always be worried that this secret will come out as they often do years and years later. You need to ask yourself whether your brother in law will always keep quiet the fact that you have slept together, if there were to be a family row at any point in the future then this could come out, plus your brother in law also has a right to know that he has fathered a child. I feel that if you do not tell the truth now then the risk of this coming out is a strong possibility and also if your child when older should find out that the ''Dad'' that they thought is their dad is in fact not the case, it will have a devastating affect on them, and the child could stop trusting you. It goes without saying that to come clean is going to be a very brave thing to do but I feel that if you leave this secret and keep it quiet this will always make you feel very uneasy indeed. You do run the risk of loosing your marriage but something has to be wrong in the first place for you to look towards another man anyway and it would be wise to look deeply into your marriage, this is going to come as a great shock to your husband as he has two issues here, the mistrust of yourself and his brother and it may well pull the family apart. I feel that to ''come clean'' now is the best option or you do run the risk of living a lie for many years to come and to tell the truth would eliminate having to do some difficult explaining to your child at a later date. To conclude I feel that to tell the truth is the best option and all people concerned can make decisions based on the facts of where you can go from here, your husband will be the one that will suffer the most due to the betrayal he will need time to get his head around all this, and of course he will be very angry indeed. This is very, very sensitive indeed and although your husband will be upset once he has got his head around it all he may be able to give you a second chance and sort the marriage out, and then he can decide how he wishes to deal with his brother. Bright Blessings